


358 Days to Cry

by Ava_Rose



Series: KINGDOM HEEEEAARTSS...GIVE ME BACK MY HEART [3]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Tagging as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:42:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21855445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_Rose/pseuds/Ava_Rose
Summary: Alexia has been living on the edge, not really part of the Organization, not really sure why she exists.It stops mattering when the Nobodies who have been shielding her for years disappear, leaving her as the organization falls to pieces.How is she supposed to shield her frail, blossoming heart from those around her?
Series: KINGDOM HEEEEAARTSS...GIVE ME BACK MY HEART [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525370
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another weird summary, but this is a companion piece to my KH I story. The character we're following here has a much darker head space, so this might end up getting ugly.  
> That being said, have at thee!

_ There was a beautiful island, bathed in sun. It was a tiny island, but the little shadow still managed to find places to wait out the day. The bright light made it uncomfortable. _

_ This day was different though. This day the little human boy finally approached the little shadow. He didn’t say anything, just held out a hand expectantly. The little shadow had other ideas _ .

**_Such a bright heart. I want it. It’s mine!_ **

Alexia bolted upright, gasping for breath. Fucking nightmare. 

"Is that why you hate being alone at night?” Alexia reflexively flung a dagger at the voice. It wasn’t Zexion, why was it near her while she was sleeping? “Watch it! I was just trying to ask a question!”

Right, Demyx. Alexia inhaled, held her breath for a count of three, then exhaled. Didn’t Demyx normally move her to her room when she fell asleep?

"Sorry for not taking you to your room, but I don’t really use my bed anyway, so why make more work for myself?” Demyx was grinning sheepishly from his comfy chair on the other side of the room. Her dagger had unfortunately stuck his sitar.

"Sorry about that,” she muttered, summoning it back.

"Don’t worry too much about it. Not like you were really trying to kill me.” He could grin so sincerely sometimes that it actually made Alexia wonder.

"I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to anyone else,” she admitted as she got up.

"Of course! Haven’t I always been on your side?”

He had. Alexia could admit that.

She meant to teleport to her room, but her mind seemed stuck on her missing Nobody.

Alexia froze as she looked around Zexion’s room. Without him, without his work, it felt awful and empty. Like she should be.

And thus started the shitty day.

_ ~Day 255~ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexia loves to be introduced like this.  
> I swear I meant it to be in first person!


	2. Chapter 2

_Click-clack, click-clack, click-clack, cliCK-CLACK, CLICK-CLACK…_

“Shut up!” I yelled at my boots, wondering once again if I could possibly get away with bare feet. 

“I don’t think the floor can hear you,” an amused voice informed me.

“I wasn’t yelling at the floor, I was yelling at my boots,” I said with a pout, lifting my eyes to meet Zexion’s. There was no smile on his face, but his eyes were sparkling in a way only I could manage to make happen.

“Alexia, just ask the Superior for a different style of footwear. I highly doubt he will mind it more than you disrupting the castle everytime you lose your temper.”

That made me shift uncomfortably, “He doesn’t actually think I’m losing my temper, does he?” 

Zexion didn’t answer for a beat, thinking over how to word his answer. He had managed to avoid lying to me for the years we’ve known each other, but he also hated when I got distressed. Or, he figured he would, “As far as I can tell, the Superior has not taken note of your reactions. You probably should work on keeping yourself level though. No one here is an idiot.”

“You sure about Demyx?” I have to ask with a snort.

“I’m sure the Superior had his reasons for bringing the Nocturne in,” Zexion said coolly, his face growing even blanker.

“Or you actually hate his guts, and you’re super jealous that he manages to get me to sleep at night,” I suggested sweetly, leaning into Zexion’s space with a smirk. The Schemer simply blinked at me. “Really? Nothing?”

Faster than I had been anticipating, Zexion knocked me to the floor and pinned me. Chest heaving, I take a moment to test his hold before grinning up at him, “Good job, but now what?”

“Now, you kids get a room.” The voice was dripping with false disgust as Xigbar walked up to us, very narrowly missing kicking my head.

“Is there something we can help you with?” Zexion asked calmly, sitting back so I could sit up under him. But only if I wanted to smush my face against his chest.

“Meeting. Apparently, our Superior found what we were looking for.”

“We have a Keyblade wielder now?” Even Zexion felt the need to pull on his memories of excitement. 

“Yep! Doesn’t seem like he’s going to be doing a whole lot at the moment though,” Xigbar said, cracking his neck, “Kiddo’s like a zombie.”

“I’m sure you proper organization members can work with that,” I snarked, then wheezed when Zexion tightened his knees around my ribcage.

“Keep mouthing off and someone’s bound to snap,” Xigbar warned me with a laugh before leaving, probably to the meeting room. Zexion waited a moment to make sure he hadn’t decided to be a creep before letting me up.

“One of these days I’m going to shove something pointy into his eye socket,” I muttered, brushing off my coat as Zexion pulled me to my feet. 

“I suppose you are in a better position to do so than I am,” Zexion agreed mildly.

“You all act like your numbers actually mean something, but if this guy can really wield a keyblade then he’s going to be the most important one here. Number thirteen, being more important than even the Superior. Wonder who’s going to be the first to riot..”

“Marluxia and Larxene,” Zexion said, “They’ve been waiting for a chance.”

“Mmmm,” I relished in the quiet for a moment before asking, “How much trouble do you think we’ll be in if we’re super late to the meeting?”

“I would receive a lecture, you would have to deal with the Superior.”

“Oh, yeah, no, way to kill any mood. Let’s get going.”

I didn’t have a seat in the meeting room. I wasn’t a proper member, so there was no real need. Instead, there was a little alcove near the base of the Superior’s seat where I usually sat during meetings. Most of the time there was no real need for me to attend these meetings. Requiring me to attend was just another way for him to exert power over me.To remind me I was helpless and useless.

“Now that we are all here,” Xemnas began droning, “I wish to introduce our thirteenth member. Roxas, our Key of Destiny.”

The boy sitting in the last seat didn’t even acknowledge the rest of the room. His blue eyes were dull and he was staring at the floor. I was almost concerned, but Xigbar had warned me. I just hadn’t realized how bad it was.

With that out of the way, the rest of the meeting didn’t last very long. After a quick “motivational” speech, everyone was sent to attend to their tasks for the day. I stayed where I was and watched as Saïx himself went to escort the new kid back to his room for further rest. The Superior often wished to speak with me after these meetings as it was one of the few times I allowed myself near him.

“Alexia,” he said from just above me, “come with me.” He held a dark portal open as he offered me his arm. As much as my entire being fought me, I was quick to rest my hand on the crook of his elbow. Best to indulge him when unable to avoid him.

The Altar of Naught was as bare as ever. Even without his heart, it would forever be a mystery to me as to how he managed to spend so much time up here. The Superior was practically drawn to the observation deck, pulling me with him as he bathed in the tiny light he claimed was Kingdom Hearts.

“Alexia, how are you?” 

That was a trap if I’d ever heard one, “The same as always, obviously.”

“Your relationship with Zexion?”

“Nonexistent. Have I done something to attract such unusual attentions,” I still choke on the title, even after all this time, “Father?”

“Is it not natural for a father to inquire into the life of his daughter?”

“Far more natural than existing with no hearts.” The little exhale through his nose was enough to have me tensing up, ready for a hit. It seemed like I would be getting off easy today though.

“I am placing you in charge of the Keyblade wielder when he is here in the castle. Make sure he is well-tended and looked after. Go.” 

It was easy to obey that command and I was in the Grey Room within seconds. I looked around for my new charge, hoping he’d miraculously managed to find his way here. There would be a ton of castle to search otherwise.

“Hey, Alexia,” Axel greeted from behind me.

“Hi Axel. Have you seen- Oh, there you are.” Standing next to Axel was Roxas, looking just as lifeless as before, “I’m supposed to be helping you around the castle, okay Roxas?”

I didn’t really expect him to respond, but Axel was quick to step in, “I’ll be taking him out, so don’t worry too much about him today. Tomorrow he’s all yours though!”

“Don’t get him killed.” It was the closest thing he would get to an agreement from me. Plausible deniability and all that.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this covered. See ya!” I watched them disappear through a dark corridor, already tired of putting up with the people around me for the day. I went to my room, hoping that this would be one of those rare times I wouldn’t have to have someone else help me sleep.

There was a rose waiting on my nightstand, and I eagerly brought it to my nose. The magic on it relaxed me and I had to crawl onto my bed before I collapsed onto the floor.

It wasn’t a secret who occasionally left me roses steeped in sleep magic, but I couldn’t bring myself to confront number XI. He was intimidating, but other than that the roses were actually very useful for me. If only Zexion would stop tossing them before I got a new one.

I hummed as I snuggled further into my mattress. Was Zexion expecting me later? Hopefully not. Well, he could always come looking for me if he really felt the urge.


	3. Chapter 3

“Alexia.”

I could hear the voice, but I didn’t want to answer. I was warm, still wrapped in the amazing blanket known as sleep, and I wanted to stay that way until I was forced out.

“ _Alexia._ ” The voice was growling now, and I was abruptly rolled onto my back. All of the sudden, I was much more receptive to being awake, my eyes shooting open and my chest heaving as I filled my lungs with air that wasn’t filled with even more sleep magic.

“What have I told you about falling asleep with your nose stuck in these things? At this rate, nobody need bother with where your allegiance lies.” Zexion was standing over me, my newest sleeping rose looking so delicate in his hand. His eyes were narrowed as he waited for my defense, wanting me to give him a good reason not to follow through with whatever punishment he was thinking of.

I was too pathetic to be logical, “Don’t throw it away! I’ll be more careful, I promise. Please give it back!”

That rose meant no nightmares. That rose meant I could function when I was supposed to. That rose promised me an escape.

Zexion looked down at me, something icy sharpening in the back of his gaze. I knew that meant he was trying to figure out if I could be trusted when war broke out. I kept eye contact as best I could, dark pink distracting me in my peripheral vision. I might be an addict, but the Superior would cry before I gave into that weakness.

“You’ll deal with the consequences when the Assassin is eventually eliminated,” he sighed, finally dropping the rose back onto my nightstand like it was the most difficult thing he’d ever had to do. I would have glared at him, but I was busy watching to make sure the rose settled safely. 

What was I going to do when I couldn’t rely on Maruxia’s...generosity?

I had no idea why Marluxia did what he did. When the roses first started appearing in my room, I had tried to ignore them. The frightening Nobody had just started showing traces of his desire for power, and I had to assume it was part of some scheme to either destroy me or bring me to his side. The only issue with that was, I’d only ever had one real conversation with the Graceful Assassin, and that was right before the roses started appearing.

_I was scrounging through the kitchen, not wanting to call on a Dusk. The fuckers reported my unusual behaviour as often as I told them not to, and I wasn’t ready to deal with any “higher-ups” in the morning. A midnight snack should not translate to a day of “specialized training.”_

_There was a snort in the back of my throat as the voice in my head mocked Vexen’s perfectly. Being singled out to act as a punching bag for everyone else would never be training, no matter how much anyone else insisted on calling it that._

_Tonight seemed determined to ruin my tomorrow, as I turned around to come face to face with one of the wavy fucks._

_“Don’t you dare!” I snapped, reaching out to grab it before it could teleport away. It had never worked for me before, but I had to at least try._

_I probably would have failed for the_ n _th time if a pink blade hadn’t suddenly cut into my view, very clearly threatening the Dusk._

_“There will be no need to report any more of the little one’s nightly excursions to anyone but me,” a smooth voice said from my left. I froze, fear leaving its icy trails on every part of me. I had been warned about this Nobody since the day he arrived, despite him still carrying around that blankness that signified a new Nobody._

_The Dusk seemed...frightened? After nodding with respect, it teleported away. Had this newbie actually managed to override the Superior's commands?_

_I was left with Marluxia and one of his lesser Nobodies. I wasn’t sure which one I should try and keep my attention on. With the display of power just then, I had no doubt his minions would be a terrible handful._

_“It’s usually considered good manners to thank someone who does something for you,” Marluxia said, smirking. He wasn’t moving, but he still hadn’t dismissed the...I was pretty sure it was called a Reaper._

_“Thank you,” I whispered, honestly shocked I managed to make noise. My throat was growing dry as my insides squeezed together. Was I breathing?_

_“Do you often have trouble sleeping?” He was looking up and down my body, probably taking in the locked knees and stiff shoulders to help him later imitate emotions._

_“Often enough that I wish it didn’t happen.” No, I would not be giving him more ammunition than I had to. It didn’t matter how much he intimidated me._

_“I see.” Marluxia turned away, his Reaper spiriting away as he left the room, “You are clearly uncomfortable with strangers. I apologize for upsetting you.”_

_“But Nobodies can’t- Hey, wait!” He was out of earshot before I could attempt to correct him, and I was in no position to go chasing him down._

“Has the Nocturne’s music not been enough for you?” I whip my head up to meet Zexion’s eyes. Right, he was still in my room and we were supposed to be talking.

“I’m sure it’s still fine,” I told him, “I just think it must be pretty inconvenient for me to badger him to play me a lullaby or ten every night.”

“It’s not like he’s having any other nightly visitors, unless someone’s recently had a drastic personality change.”

Oof.

“And what if he just wants to rest?”

At this, Zexion let out an absolutely disgusted scoff, “Then he should stop doing so when he’s supposed to be working. Speaking of which, you have a job today, don’t you?”

Right, I was supposed to make sure the zombie didn’t walk off a ledge or something. So much fun.

“Yeah, but maybe we could enjoy ourselves first?” I wasn’t often successful in pulling Zexion away from possible work, but as I ran my hands over his chest I couldn’t help hoping today would be one of the days he found a reason to indulge me. Screw it, I wanted to feel good today.

He kept his eyes steadily locked on mine as my hands traveled up his shoulders, coming together to pull on his coat’s zipper. This was usually when he said yes or no.

“Please, Zexy.” I begged, standing up to bring our faces together. Our bodies fit together as I waited for his answer, trying hard not to hold my breath.

He finally closed his eyes and let our lips touch. I surged onto the the balls of my feet with a pleased hum, relishing in the way he managed to stoke the fire in me with minimal effort. He had barely moved his lips, but I was already trying to pull his coat all the way off his arms. I groaned and leaned in when he trapped my lower lip, teeth barely grazing the sensitive skin.

I disengaged when my feet left the floor, “Wha-”

Zexion slammed me back into my bed with enough force to knock the breath out of me. I couldn’t stop my grin as he crawled over me, pulling my head back for access to my throat. Getting such a strong reaction from him was always so satisfying.

Zexion’s face was hidden from view, but the aggression with which he pulled down my collar to bite along the top of my chest told me everything I needed to know.

“I thought I had work to do today,” I chuckled, whimpering when he tightened his hand in my hair with a growl.

“It can wait a couple more minutes.” Zexion finally brought his mouth back to mine, pulling one of my legs up to rest on his hip.

“A couple?” I gasped with the next breath I managed, leg trying to pull Zexion all the way down. The way he was hovering was annoying me, “I know you’re good, but-”

Zexion finally brought our lower halves together in a slow grind, and I had to break into a soft moan. The way he was steadily pressing his crotch into mine...Well, it wasn’t really what I wanted, but I craved the contact. 

It had been a couple of weeks since the last time we had been so intimate, and that was too fucking long in my most humble opinion. Holding each other and working together to reach climax, that’s when I knew Zexion could feel a connection the way I could. I was addicted to the absolute glow Zexion had at times like these.

Right now his cheeks were flushed and he was studying my face, still trying to memorize what brought me the most pleasure. His arms were trembling a little on either side of my head. I watched for an opening to sit up and give him a kiss, but was interrupted by a particularly deep grind.

“Ah!” I squirmed, unable to concentrate anymore. All I wanted was for him to do exactly that again and again.

“Everything alright?” Zexion whispered straight into my ear, the tickling sending a whole new round of shivers through me. I could feel the small gush downstairs, where I was already wet enough to worry about my underwear in some distant part of my mind.

“I’m great, and if you stop now I’m going to cry.” I told him, my hands on his shoulders trying to bring his top half a bit closer. I could feel my orgasm building up even with just the dry hump. It was killing me to not have my mouth all over him.

Zexion smirked, refusing my grabby hands and picking up speed ever so slightly.

I choked, hips bucking with a mind of their own as my mouth fell open. _Right fucking there, oh yes, that’s exactly what I needed!_

I reached back to grab onto my sheets as I felt my orgasm ready to burst, my entire body tensing despite my attempts to relax. It was too much!

In an instant I was left cold and exposed, leg dropping pathetically back onto the bed. A few tears actually escaped my eyes as I tried to look at Zexion without rubbing anything sensitive. When I opened my mouth, all that came out was a pathetic whimper.

“Go do your job,” Zexion told me as he turned to leave. “If you do well enough, I might be willing to finish this tonight.”

“And I might be willing to shove one of Larxene’s kunai up your ass,” I whispered as my door shut. I was left a pouting, flushed mess and I was supposed to babysit? “Poor kid.”

My arrival in the Grey Room was brought to everyone’s attention by Axel whistling, “Sweetheart, shouldn’t you be taking care of yourself in your room?”

Why was everyone trying to get on my bad side? I shot him the bird while looking around for my responsibility. I would have taken more time getting presentable if past experience hadn’t shown me my pale skin would stay flushed and my red eyes would remain wide and wet for as long as they pleased.

Fuck Nobodies.

Unfortunately enough, Roxas was on the couch opposite Axel. That could put me in grabbing reach if the red-head was feeling too playful.

“Really Axel? Xigbar was kind of expected, but _you’re_ rocking the cradle? Gross.” Maybe the worst way to go about distracting him, but Axel was quick enough to fall into it.

“Excuse me? I’m not doing anything, the kid just decided he wanted to follow me around on his own! I’ve been waiting with him for _you_ to show up so I can get to work!” His narrow green eyes shifted from me to someone behind me, and I started tensing up.

“Is there an issue here?” A soft, even voice inquired, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Saïx was not someone I was ready to fuck with today.

“Nope. Just grabbing Roxas.” I said as pleasantly as I could, grabbing the teen’s arm. I wouldn’t turn around, absolutely not.

“Alexia.” Damn. I turned slowly, still holding onto my charge. My eyes were immediately drawn to his amber gaze, and I was made sick yet again. Those were not the eyes that should’ve been on that face. I could barely hear him telling me to be careful with our newest toy, those eyes activating every flight instinct in me. I choked out an affirmative before summoning a portal where I stood, yanking Roxas in after me.

My day was spent showing the young zombie around the castle, calling for a Dusk to bring me food when I realized we should probably be eating.

Our last stop was the library, where Zexion spent our visit watching Roxas over the top of his Lexicon. Not that the kid would have noticed if he had just stared outright. He had barely reacted to anything the whole day. I’d even had to prod his mouth with the sandwich to get him to eat.

“Are all Nobodies really this out of it when they’re formed?” I asked him when Roxas wandered off, apparently attracted to the shelf of knick-knacks we kept in the very back.

“As far as we’ve had a chance to observe.” Zexion evaded in a way I was familiar with. I hadn’t been a zombie way back when.

“Maybe age has an effect on it.” Seeing Zexion’s incredulous look, I rushed to defend myself, “The benchmark could be a very set age. Or maybe it has to do with the individual themselves. I'm just sort of talking as I think.”

“Be careful where you think then.” Zexion said drily, crowding me against the bookshelf as he reached for the shelf behind my head. I didn’t cringe away, letting him drop his face near mine as he whispered, “You never know what may be waiting for you to slip up.”

The skin on the back of my neck crawled as he yanked a Dancer into view.

“What the?” Demyx had never seemed like the spying sort. Before either of us could actually do anything, Roxas came back into view. He was making a beeline for the lesser Nobody.

“Hey, Roxas, you ever seen one of these guys?” I didn’t wait for the absolute lack of response I knew I was going to get. “It’s a type of lesser Nobody called a Dancer. Demyx, the lazy bones, is in charge of the Dancers. Almost everyone here has their own lesser Nobodies they’re in charge of. Do a good job and you may even someday get your own!”

He absolutely wouldn’t. The kid already upset the power balance of our organization by being a Keyblade wielder, and if the Superior had any sort of sense left he wouldn’t allow the kid anything else.

We let Roxas examine the Dancer for a few minutes, only letting it leave when we were sure it had learned its lesson. The whole damn Organization seemed determined to fuck with my privacy.

“Roxas, we should have dinner and then you can go to your room for the night.” I used the blonde’s shoulders to steer him to a portal I had opened into the kitchen. Zexion caught me before I got far, gently pecking my cheek.

“See you tonight?”

“Of course.” How he could ever think I would say no to him, I wasn’t sure. I gave him a small smile before continuing on.

“So, Roxas,” I said when we were deposited into my second favourite room in the whole castle, “if you’re hungry, you can always tell a Dusk to bring you food. I showed you that earlier, remember? There are going to be times you just want to get your own food though, and that’s what the kitchen is for.”

Thankful that Roxas seemed to have imprinted onto me enough to not just leave, I let him explore while heating up canned soup. No, I am not a fantastic cook, but I had yet to set anything on fire and that was enough for me.

“Making any for me?” A mischievous voice popped into my ear, making me jump and splatter the soup onto the counter a bit.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I wheezed, unamused as Axel stood there smirking, “Clean that up and I’ll think about it.”

Axel also ended up getting out bowls and spoons, and carrying the food to the small kitchen table that almost never saw any use.

After a small fight to get Roxas to sit and start eating, I took my place across from Axel.

“So, how’s the kid taking everything?” Axel asked me, his words garbled around the spoon still in his mouth because apparently no one had ever taught him table manners.

“As far as I can tell, fine. He still doesn’t seem to be very aware, but Zexion said that was fairly normal, so…” I let the sentence trail off, not sure what else to say and getting hungrier by the second.

The rest of dinner passed pretty quietly, Axel watching Roxas. Probably for some sign of the great power he was supposed to have. I personally hadn’t seen anything during our day together, but maybe the older man had been told something I hadn’t.

There wasn’t a word as we separated, me dropping Roxas off in his room before retreating to my own.

Zexion had been waiting on my bed, ready to make up for cutting me off earlier. I couldn't have been more grateful. His scent chased away the questions in my mind, his lips acted like a bandage for the small, broken thing in my chest. I sighed as I buried my fingers into his hair, iciness fading away for now. There was nothing to worry about in this moment, just him and me.


End file.
